Oct 19, 2016

I notice that.....

Assalamualaikum wbt..

I haven't write for quite some time.. well did few attempts to write, but it ends halfway.

Jadi nak diceritakan.. kehidupan saya sebagai pelajar sepenuh masa sebenarnya bakal berakhir dalam masa 2 bulan.. yup..

and i notice that:

I didn't do my best at all in my presentation. from the first sem until my last presentation last Mon. Yup, I'm very nervous, and i tend to read text.. or else i'll be speechless. but it was the biggest thing i should improve which i haven't improve at all.

huhu.. so I notice that i become sad. my heart started to fill with regret..

and I notice that sometimes i tend to blame others.. Oh my.. :(

hmm.. I notice that, those negative thoughts keep wandering around me.. and make me avoid changes.. in the end i still remain the same...

oh my.. I notice that while I'm writing this, i'm getting down and down... should i stop?

I notice that, i don't know what to do..

19/Oct/2016
Duhig Library. 

Jun 12, 2016

Fajar bening Ramadhan ke-7

Bismillahirrahmanirrahiim..

Ramadhan 7, 1436.

Kalau dikenang apa aktiviti yg dilakukan tarikh yang sama tahun lalu, sangatlah mustahil. sebab tahun lalu rasanya aku termasuk orang yang rugi.. menggigil dalam sleeping bag kerana kesejukan yang amat sehingga menusuk tulang. Sebelum dua tahun ini, aku biasa mendengar tentang kisah puasa di luar negara, tapi kisah tempoh puasa yang panjang kerana panas, dugaannya menahan lapar dan dahaga ketika panas..

Tapi... jarang  orang bercerita tentang Ramadhan di musim sejuk.. hanya perkataan 'best' kerana tempoh puasa agak pendek..

Dan, kerana puasa yg pendek tahun lalu dan digelumit kesejukan amat (sbb sanagt tak tahan sejuk).. aku telah mensia-siakan Ramadhan.. cuma diharap agar sedikit amal khidmah dan usaha utk tmbah sedikit pahala diambl kira.. huhuhu.. sedihnya

Anara simptom puasa yg pendek ketika musim sejuk is cepat lapar.. sebabnya banyak tenaga digunakan utk panaskan badan.. and seriously I feel it.. dan maybe sebab dosa2 yg tak sepatutnya ditambah pada bulan Ramadhan.. huhu.. terjadi pula seperti orang yang rugi..

Ramadhan 7,1437.

Maka, pada tanggal Ramadhan masuk hari yg ketujuh, moga dapat kekalkan keistiqamahan hati bermuhasabah dan beramal di bulan Ramadhan.. I need that Ramadhan feeling.. a passion that you need to become and improve to be a better person. A feeling of being alone with Allah.. A sweet night prayer..

Dan beruntungnya sangat bila puasa time winter, kerana diberi masa beribadah malam yang panjang.. bukankah Ramadhan itu dimuliakan kerana malamnya..?

So, instead buat checklist nak makan apa each day, patutnya buat checklist amalan apa yang nak dilaksankan setiap malam kan.. :). Dan this will be my last year fasting in Australia.. huwaa. i'll miss this place so much.. So let's make the best for what we have k.

Alhamdulillah.. diberi kesempatan menghirup udara pagi..
Moga kita semua termasuk dalam golongan orang2 yang beruntung.. In shyaa-Allah..

7.22am
Brisbane, Australia

P/S: I miss you. yes you. who you are and what you are, I just missing someone because of Allah. So, smile, chin up and keep on walking k.

Jan 18, 2016

A morning with a sore throat

Bila Allah beri kamu kesakitan,

Maka Dia tarik keceriaan di wajahmu,
Dia tarik nikmat kesihatan pada diri mu,
dan Dia tarik dosa-dosa pada dirimu.

Bila Allah tarik balik kesakitan pada dirimu,
Maka, Dia beri kembali keceriaan,
Kamu kembali sihat,
tetapi, dosa-dosamu kekal.

Maka, bersyukurlah saat diuji dengan kesakitan..

A sore throat prevent you from talking nonsense, while hurting legs prevent you from going to unnecessary places.

And, an additional number to your age, tells you that your life can end anytime. Be grateful of what you have, be nice to people around you. As you need 'amal' to accompany you in the grave.

10.53 am
UQ library

Jan 11, 2016

Touchy morning

Assalamualaikum wbt,

Sekarang pkul 10 pagi di Brisbane bersamaan 8 pagi di Malaysia.

Selalu orang bermuhasabah sebelum tidur, tapi mungkin sebab semalam balik lambat tak sempat nak bermuhasabah sangat. Qada' muhasabah ke awal pagi.

Dah 11 hari melalui tahun 2016.. dan setiap kali bulan Januari akan terasa.. 'what have i done before'. Kemudian, terpikir, 'these are the things I should continue to do today onwards'. dan situasi bertambah sayu.. Masa tidak dapat diputar kembali.. dan apa yang boleh dibuat ialah bersyukur untuk harini, dan baiki untuk hari esok

1. Let's face the challenge bravely and patiently
2. Be humble and generous
3. Never give up
4. Teruskan usaha membaiki diri..

Kadang-kadang bila terasa lama hati berkarat, rasa malas nk mencuci.. lalu ia terus menjadi gris.
Tapi tidak bermakna gris itu tidak boleh dicuci.. sikit2 lama berkilat...

then, last but not least.. Jagalah Allah, excaya Allah menjagamu.


Jan 6, 2016

Orang Ado-Ado

Assalamualaikum, 

One of my goal this year is to continue writing in this blog. Not for collecting 'Like' as Facebook or Instagram but to release some burdensome in the heart. To share some thought, and some injustice feeling of my heart.. But firstly of course the problem is to be shared only to Allah. 

One of the things that I have been struggling is when i face an 'Orang ado-ado'. Who is 'Orang ado-ado' and where was this term came from? Maybe from the word 'berada'.

I've written so much here, and after i read it few times, it seems bad. So, who ever you are, be grateful. Allah created people differently, with different environment. Treat people nicely and life is not always with rainbows.

Well then, i just realize that how our mindset and life view is different. One goal, and how you treated things.. then, i found this article which had quite explained the situation.. it is nice to keep it and read once a while..

http://www.businessinsider.in/21-ways-rich-people-think-differently-than-the-average-person/articleshow/48473486.cms

Later, I am starting to understand Han Se-kyung character in Cheongdamdong Alice. If you can't handle them, then be like them. But there is always a biiigggg real truth, as the people fate is in God's hand. No matter how good you plan your life is, He is always the best planner.

I'm starting to trust and belief my journey, even though sometimes you have this kind of doubt in your head. Then, somebody told me that it s good to make your goal written down, as whenever you seems to forgot or divert, you get reminded.

Let's pray for everyone health and good journey of life.. There's always an obstacle all the way through :)

p/s: btw, any comment or advice are welcome. I need to overcome this situation.. huhu.. 

Jan 3, 2016

2016

January 2016

Setiap hari teringat nak mencoret, tapi tiada tindakan. Betul lah, if there's no action, then there's no achievement.

2016...

Hanya untuk tahun ini, dan buat kesekian kalinya, aku tidak mahu punya azam yang tinggi menggunung. Mahupun cita-cita kayangan.

Tetapi mahu terus berbakti, pada ayah dan ibu. Menjadi lebih berani dan kuat, hanya lemah pada yang Esa.

Tahun Baru 2016

Buat pertama kali dalam hidupku, keluar ke pesta bunga api. Di bumi Brisbane. Sekadar melihat percikan bunga api yang dicorakkan. diiringi lagu-lagu Inggeris popular.

Tiba2 buat aku terfikir. Oh ya.. orang gear pada benda yg berwarna-warni dan cerah. Maka dengan adanya bung api, maka terlupalah ia pada kegelapan sang malam.

Kesian malam yang gelap, dibiarkan. "fikirku"

atau.. kerana terangnya bintang, manusia menyukai malam?

Maka, malam itu tidak boleh dibiarkan sendiri..

Kasihan malam.

2016

Seketika pula, macam pelik bila tiada matlamat untuk dicapai tahun ini. Jadi, aku letakkan matlamat jangka pendekku.

1. untuk habiskan Master tahun ini dan lulus dengan cemerlang (inshaa Allah)
2. Dapat saving duit, as tampung kehidupan selepas belajar
3. Dapat tampung ilmu, iman yang lopong2 kat hati tu..

hidupku untuk cari pengalaman,  dan belajar untuk menguatkan hati..